6.29.2004

do you think we have no memory at all?

Does anyone else find these new Sprint ads absolutely insane?

They go something like this:

"Is your cell phone company a bunch of bloodthirsty, greedy savages who charge you huge fees whenever you go over your minutes? Who in god's name would do something like that? Do they have no soul? Is there no justice in the world? We think that's awful and dishonest and evil. We have a new plan that adjusts to how much you use your phone."

Doesn't it strike them funny that the very policy they describe was EXACTLY how Sprint has worked since the dawn of time, right up until last week? When I had a Sprint phone, they charged me 35 cents a minute overage fees, which is exactly what they're describing in their attack ads.

The funny thing is, they assume that we have a memory span of 30 seconds, and they're right.

6.22.2004

first private space visit

Today, for the first time in the history of mankind, a man piloted a privately built craft into space.

Over the years since the Apollo missions, our nation has lost interest in space, whether it be from the disappointments of disasters like Challenger, or from politicians and people complaining that we have "problems to solve at home" that are more important than spending our money in space.

Our race has all of its eggs in one basket. That's a fantastic reason to spread out, to hedge our bets, to protect our future from mishap and accident.

But more than that, we have a responsibility to raise our eyes above the horizon, and to pursue discovery for the sake of exploration and learning and growing. We owe it to ourselves and to those who come after us to always push farther and harder.

Space technology is the only technology that I know of since the dawn of man where we've actually advanced and then retreated. If we wanted to put a man on the moon tomorrow, we couldn't. That terrifies me that we've actually allowed an advance to slip through our fingers and out of our minds. That should never be true. Progress should be a steadily advancing, multipronged path into the future, not something we give up on when it's difficult.

And with that, I'd like you all to read again the words that Kennedy spoke over forty years ago, and realize they're no less true today than they were back in the stone age of space flight, where they pushed farther with primitive technology than we're doing today in our age of scientific might.

"There is no strife, no prejudice, no national conflict in outer space as yet. Its hazards are hostile to us all. Its conquest deserves the best of all mankind, and its opportunity for peaceful cooperation many never come again. But why, some say, the moon? Why choose this as our goal? And they may well ask why climb the highest mountain? Why, 35 years ago, fly the Atlantic?

We choose to go to the moon. We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard, because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one which we intend to win, and the others, too.

Many years ago the great British explorer George Mallory, who was to die on Mount Everest, was asked why did he want to climb it. He said, "Because it is there."

Well, space is there, and we're going to climb it, and the moon and the planets are there, and new hopes for knowledge and peace are there. And, therefore, as we set sail we ask God's blessing on the most hazardous and dangerous and greatest adventure on which man has ever embarked."

We choose to go to the moon.

6.19.2004

overused meaningless phrases

Almost every day now on the news, I hear or read the phrase "guarded optimism" or "cautious optimism".

This has to stop. It's like those jackasses that predict a 70% chance of a big earthquake in the next 30 years. It doesn't mean anything. It's just a stupid word game.

I beg of you, media of the world, don't quote anyone who says either of these phrases.

Oh my god.

What.

The.

Fuck.

6.15.2004

open source legal documents

I need to draw up a lease agreement for my duplex, and I'm having a bit of a rough time finding a good one online.

It occurs to me that the open source movement, or perhaps creative commons, should draw up "open source" legal documents. Contracts between independent coding contractors and businesses, leases, wills, you name it. Take the lawyers out of this business and open it up to the people.

The fact that I've thought of it means that other people have had to have thought of it as well. The question is, where is it? I'm looking around on google now, but if any of you know of a resource like this, please let me know.

6.14.2004

bizzare beyond belief

So I was drinking some beers with my mom this weekend, and she said the following, I shit you not:

"My friends and I were talking last week, and none of us knew what 'bitch slap' meant. What does 'bitch slap' mean, Tobin?"

That's when my jaw dropped out of my head, and my brain stopped working for about three minutes.

Keep in mind that my mom is in her late fifties, and most of my friends say she reminds them of June Cleaver.

Since the gauntlet was thrown down, I couldn't back down. I had to do the motion with my hand, and explain that it came from what pimps did to their... women. I think I'll need years of therapy now.

6.11.2004

random thoughts from the road

I'm sitting on a porch swing in Geneseo, Illinois.

It's 72 degrees, the crickets are chirping, and the wind chime is singing a sweet song. There's no traffic, there's no honking horns, or crowding. Hell, there's no people.

Tonight I got drunk with my aunt and my mom. We went to a karaoke bar, and heard locals belt out Janis Joplin. We drove around town, and shot the shit.

Now I'm toasty, sitting and enjoying my own little piece of heaven. People from California who know nothing about the rest of the country sit in their crowded little lemming holes and talk shit about the midwest.

Tomorrow I'm going to sign closing papers on my little rental duplex here. I'm gonna party with my family and celebrate. Three generations of Coziahrs are going to spend Saturday painting and fixing up my house before I return to the hellhole of California that I'm stuck in for now.

You people have no idea what you're missing.

Yes, this is a nonsensical drunken late night post. Move along.

It's time for me to finish my smoke, and finish my beer, say goodnight to the crickets, and pass out.

6.05.2004

Ronald Reagan dies at age 93



...
"In closing let me thank you, the American people, for giving me the great honor of allowing me to serve as your President. When the Lord calls me home, whenever that may be, I will leave with the greatest love for this country of ours and eternal optimism for its future.

I now begin the journey that will lead me into the sunset of my life. I know that for America there will always be a bright new dawn ahead.

Thank you, my friends. May God always bless you.

Sincerely,

Ronald Reagan"

6.03.2004

mtv censorship

When you watch MTV late at night (when they show videos), you'll probably notice that they censor a lot of words out.

That won't mean much to you if you're not familiar with the music. But I'm a cultural sponge, so I know the lyrics to a LOT of music.

MTV's censorship astounds me. Someone at MTV is the most politically correct asshole who has ever lived on this planet.

I just saw the weirdest example of this. The song "Stand up" by Ludacris was playing. In this song, he says the following:

"Watch out for the medallion, my diamonds are reckless, feels like a midget is hanging from my necklace."

Sit and look at that sentence for a bit and try to guess what they did to it.

MTV bleeped the word "midget" from this song.

You have GOT to be kidding me. I know we're descended from a bunch of puritans, so we can't have cool videos and commercials like they do in Europe, with profanity and nudity. That sucks, but I'm used to it. But do we have to be so politically correct that we can't say words like "midget", because it might offend people?

I'm just waiting and watching now to see what else the PC police will bleep. Maybe rappers won't be able to talk about big butts, because fat girls would get mad? Maybe they'll start bleeping words like "retarded" or "sick"?

Maybe my head will explode first. Or I'll go on a rampage and sodomize all the oppressive, repressed PC bastards.

6.02.2004

Private spacecraft to launch June 21

I've been wondering about the legality of space flight.

Right now, I can't just hop in a plane and fly around, I have to be certified, register a flight plan, stay out of certain airspaces and altitudes.

In all the articles I've seen lately, none of them have mentioned the US government regulating space flight in any way. Granted, you all know my politics, and I'm very glad that they're not, but I just can't see our over-restrictive government being cool with people just hopping into space.

I mean, what's to keep them from smashing into secret satellites? Or what if a rival corporation decided to take a "space walk" and destroy the satellites of a competitor? It seems like once this becomes a reality, we're going to start having people making up new space laws, and we all know that laws are usually unrealistic and about 10 years behind any cutting edge technology.

Has anyone heard any talk of the government making noise about Paul Allen and his band of merry men trying to become private space entrepreneurs?

CNN.com - Private spacecraft to launch June 21 - Jun 2, 2004