SCREAM TALKING

Warren Ellis posted a little dialogue tidbit on his blog today. The man can do snappy dialogue like nobody.

"Take my secretary. The technology available to her could have made her bulletproof, or ageless. What did she use it for? She now has the ability to circumsize telegraph poles with her teeth."

SCREAM TALKING: fifty little milk teeth/all gone bad

Sick of assholes like the New York Times asking you to register every time you visit? Me too. Here's a great new site, www.bugmenot.com where you can share logins for annoying sites.

Did you know that nethack is still under development? God, I've been in love with that game since before I had pubic hair, back when it was called rogue. They released a new version just last month.

Finally, this link is not work safe, but it cracks me up. It's the very epitome of being OWNED. Come on, click it, you pussy.

Al Franken attacks!

This is pretty funny. Al Franken knocked the crap out of some guy at a Dean rally for yelling about that idiot Larouche.

New York Post : Al Franken

I'd never really thought about it before, but a great way to get deals on Ebay is to look for words that are spelled incorrectly, because no one else is going to find them. IE, search for "labtops" and "dimonds". Interesting article about it here:

NYT: Misspelling in Online Auctions

And here is an amusing rant by some guy who is sick of 20's hipsters telling him how Ikea and Starbucks are evil. That's my kind of screed.

"I must hear some version of this spiel once a month, generally from some self-consciously leftie male between the ages of sixteen and twenty-two desperate to prove his authenticity, present his down-with-the-people, fuck-the-Man bona fides."

my god

The japanese are fucked. up.

I love it. Russian roulette for kids.

freaky organic shockwave experience

So, I just beat this Shockwave "game".

Dean recommended it on his blog, and I tried it for a second and almost closed the window, but I'm glad I didn't. It's very clever, and well done, and stylish. Give it a few minutes, try to figure out the puzzles. You'll understand it better once you play with it.

http://www.freshsensation.com/samorost.swf

Jesus Ashtray

I bought this for my brother for xmas, but I couldn't mention it until after he opened it. Then, a month later, I remember to blog it. Anyway, it fucking rules.

Jesus Ashtray

EAT YOUR GODDAMN PEAS

This was the best movie I saw at the siggraph presentation from 2003.

It's not technically stunning, but it's just brilliantly done.

Check it out.

Eat your peas

Aegri Somnia

My buddy Kevin just made a site that you should all know about. A free, web-based encryption emailer.

In this day and age, encryption is becoming more and more necessary. As experts have said time and again, if you only encrypt the important stuff, it looks suspicious. If you encrypt everything, your level of security is much higher.

Kevin has made a website that does encryption for you. It's really slick, especially if you're away from your home machine. It does PGP key lookup, so you can send pgp messages to friends when you don't have your keyring. It does normal symmetric encryption where you set a password for the message, as well. And then it mails it to whoever you want. The connection is encrypted from end to end.

Why is this important? Because if you use a wireless network, people are probably watching everything you type as it flies through the air. More and more, you should make sure that every page where you enter secure information has the "https" in front of it.

Anyway, check this site out. Give it a try. And use it. As our government, and other people, get more and more power to pry into our everyday lives, communication, *secure* communication, becomes more important.

https://www.aegri-somnia.com

Lunch movie.

Heh. Oh, how I've dreamed of doing something like this in my work cafeteria.

Lunch Home Page

Students disciplined for award campaign

I'd like to know exactly what these students were "disciplined" for. People tend to get caught up in the whole PC "african-american" title, and they forget that it doesn't always mean black.

Some kids at a private school campaigned for a white student from South Africa to get the yearly "Distinguished African American Student Award". This would be a very interesting PTA meeting debate to witness, especially since the parents of the kids that did it aren't apologetic at all.

I mean, they suspended the kid for two days. For what?

This is kind of similiar to my claim that I'm technically a "native american" because I was born in America, except there are actual definitions for native american, and I'm mostly being tongue in cheek. This kid actually IS an african-american. Why wouldn't he be eligible for the award? He's got more ties to Africa than most blacks here in the US claiming the label.

CNN.com - Students disciplined for award campaign - Jan. 22, 2004

HELP CRAZY DOLPHIN

You all seemed to really enjoy the pointless penguin game the other day, so I offer a new one for your entertainment.

This one is an insane shockwave dolphin game with a "rockin" soundtrack, flashy graphics, and almost no purpose at all. I'm still trying to get my name on the high score list at the end. If any of you pull it off, let me know.

HELP DOLPHIN GET COINS!

iChatnaked.com

For the love of god, some brave Mac user out there needs to participate in this Beta and then tell me about it.

iChatnaked.com

IEM 2004 US Democratic National Convention Market Price Graph

I've sent in money to the Iowa Electronic Market, which I don't remember if I've mentioned before here or not.

Basically it's a political market where you buy stock in candidates, and after the election is over, every share you own in a winning one, you get a dollar. It's FASCINATING to watch. They have a market for the Democratic nominee, and they have one for the 2004 election.

Check out the graph here:

IEM 2004 US Democratic National Convention Market Price Graph



As you can see, Dean was selling for 76 cents a share just a few short weeks ago, and he's been dropping like a rock. After the Iowa caucus, the boy is somewhere around 25 cents a share. Meanwhile there's been a massive jump in Kerry shares, and ROF, which is Rest of Field (meaning Edwards).

I can't wait until my check deposits and I can start buying shares in these guys. I know I'm a political nerd, but this is the coolest thing ever.

hit the penguin!

This is a fun and silly little shockwave game where you're a Yeti trying to hit a penguin with a big club. My record is 296. Can you beat that, beyotch?

Penguin game

in da butt

This car seems relatively benign until you read the description in the comments field. Trust me, it's worth it.

AutoTrader.com - Used Cars For Sale: Car Details

i am so tired

Here are your links for the day.

Really cool non-biased political fact checking website: www.factcheck.org

Interesting speech by Crichton about how environmentalists are as brain-dead as religious people these days. (I'm looking at you, Nina).

http://www.crichton-official.com/speeches/speeches_quote05.html

Gulkis found the trailer for the best movie ever. Well, Mick found this one, and it's a toss up.

Towns in Italy encouraging small children to smoke cigarettes.

Democrats want huge government because they don't trust us citizens to behave correctly with our money. I want small government because I don't trust the government to not waste my money:

http://www.heraldtribune.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20040120/APN/401200639

I want this shirt. PIRATEMONKEYROBOT.

And last but not least, all the State of the Union addresses since 1945. Someone go through all of these and find out if they all end with references to God. I bet they do.

Iowa

Wow.

Some crazy shit is going down. As Jon Stewart has been saying lately, "Dean is the candidate to beat... because that's what we've been told by the media."

Apparently people don't always listen to the media.

Tonight in the Iowa caucus, Dean got his ass handed to him. He didn't even come in second. 38% went to Kerry, 32% to Edwards, and only 18% to Dean.

Now this race is anyone's ballgame. It's too bad that Clark decided not to compete in Iowa, I'd like to see how he stacked up against them.

This is so fascinating. Gore endorsed Dean a month ago, he had a bunch of endorsements from Governors, he was championed as the hands down winner, a year before the damn election. This is going to hurt a lot of people if Dean gets destroyed. It sure as hell is going to hurt Gore.

Also, Dean is the "grass roots outsider" campaigner. This is going to suck for two reasons. One, he's not an outsider if he's endorsed by most of the establishment. Second, "grass roots" means a lot of internet interest, a lot of young people... all people with short attention spans. If Dean comes in behind a couple more times, all the air is going to flow out of his balloon of support, and he's going to fall on his face.

John Edwards is a surprise to me too, I really don't know anything about the man. I need to look into him more, I didn't realize he was an actual contender.

Also, Gephardt is going to drop out tomorrow, that's been pretty much confirmed. That's too bad, I liked him. But he never had any real weight. I didn't think he'd be next. It's hard to predict who will be the next to go. Lieberman is a joke at this point, and he's the lowest ranked "serious" contender. Kucinich and Sharpton are just weirdos, they're so stubborn, I don't know when they'll give up and realize they're doomed.

Invitation? What Invitation?

Ouch, Dean just got a pie in the face this week from Carter. Well, actually, he lied, apparently, and Carter set him straight.

This is shaping up into a pretty interesting Democratic primary. Dean isn't a shoe-in for "the man to beat" anymore.

TIME.com: Invitation? What Invitation?

The Renderotica Store

God bless the internet.

And to think, just a few short years ago, I couldn't ever have found a pre-packaged naked woman chained to a table that I can plug into my favorite renderer and make movies out of.

This entire site is dedicated to models and textures of a pornographic theme that you can purchase and use for whatever purposes your sick mind dreams of.

I'm thinking about making a movie with a singing, dancing penis.

The Renderotica Store: Dendras' Widerack PPP

sidewalk pictures

The skill and perspective of these sidewalk drawings are insanely good.

I wish that they had taken some pictures of it NOT lined up perfectly, because some of these shots have to look strange from a different angle.

Still, that's some of the best sidewalk drawing I've ever seen.

bouncechrissy: sidewalk drawings

NAB got nads in a bear trap

The National Association of Broadcasters is apparently going to gear up to have the government stop XM radio from broadcasting anything local to you. That's because it's terrified of satellite radio, and the threat that it poses.

Let's hope it doesn't work. That's a slimy ass move.

If you're wiped out by superior competition, then you shouldn't be there.

NAB NEWS RELEASE-1/7/04-STATEMENT FROM NAB PRESIDENT AND CEO EDWARD O. FRITTS ON XM RADIO'S PLAN TO PROVIDE LOCAL WEATHER AND TRAFFIC ALERTS

Machinery Found At Spirit Landing Site

Why are UFO freaks so insane?

They take publicized shots of Mars from Spirit, blow parts of them way up, and say it looks like machinery.

Except, no, it looks like rocks, blown up.

And if it was a conspiracy to hide this from people (god knows why), would they RELEASE THE FUCKING PICTURES?

Gah.

Machinery Found At Spirit Landing Site

Braun quits US presidential race

In a move shocking absolutely no one, Caron Moseley Braun becomes the first of the Nine Riders to bail from the race.

We're looking at you, Sharpton.

BBC NEWS | World | Americas | Woman quits US presidential race

blackthorn

For those of you who don't know about it (I didn't until recently), Blackthorn Cider is the shit.

I generally don't like cider. It's too sweet, it tastes like a girl drink, it gives me a headache.

Blackthorn is none of these things. It's crisp and dry and wonderful, oh, and it happens to come in gigantic 34 ounce bottles if you're lucky. I'm polishing off one as we speak.

So yeah. Ask for it at your local pub, when you're there, or try to get it when you're buying beer next time. It's hard to find, but I assure you it's worth it.

Blackthorn at Bevmo

Mmmmmmm.

saturn

Wow. My buddy Bates got a new webcam for his telescope. He has a program that does image composition, where you take a bunch of pictures, and it puts them together into a shot of much higher quality.

Check out this fucking shot, it's amazing, and he assembled it all himself:

Mustache Means Money, Authority for Police

Police in northern India are being paid an extra 65 cents a month to grow a mustache to give them more authority.

I *knew* there was a reason that every single freaking indian man on the planet has that same moustache.

Yahoo! News - Mustache Means Money, Authority for Police

clickity click click click

The RIAA is out of control. They're dressing up like fake cops and busting people themselves now.

This week's Strongbad is the shit. He puts himself in a bunch of fake old school video games, but at the end, he actually codes them up so you can play them.

Some kids hacked a drive-thru at a Burger King and started insulting people. "You don't need a couple of Whoppers. You are too fat. Pull ahead."

According to Guinness World Records, at over five by seven feet (and 133 pounds), this staggeringly beautiful photographic book is the largest published book in the world. And you can buy it at Amazon for only $10,000.

What's weirder, a jackass putting a huge stack of free fast food condiments on eBay for sale, or the fact that people are actually bidding for them?

Not Fooling Anybody

A bunch of shots of stores where people bought something with famous architecture (Dairy Queen, Pizza Hut), and lazily just slapped their name on it and sold something else. Very amusing.

Not Fooling Anybody

Bush proposal to send man to Mars

I don't care if it's political, I don't care if cynical people all over the web are whining and pouting about this because they hate Bush.

This is a fucking GOOD THING. We're talking about going to MARS. We've not landed a man on another astral body for over thirty goddamn years, with technology that looks like flint and stones compared to what we can do today.

We need to be out there, exploring, pumping up our space program, getting off this rock and learning about the universe. This is a good thing. I'm happy. There's going to be a man on Mars in my lifetime.

BBC NEWS | Science/Nature | Bush proposal to send man to Mars

the things you see in this place

I may be mistaken, but I'm almost positive I just saw two of our hispanic cleaning people doing the nasty on a chair in a conference room. Granted, the windows on our conference rooms are opaqued, so you only see human shapes, but that's a pretty recognizable shape.

I may never feel entirely comfortable in a meeting again, sitting in the crunchy love juices left behind by horny migrant workers.

ICE FO YO TEEF

Oh lord almightly.

Gold teeth designs

Look at this:



That's supposed to go in your freaking mouth.

Well, at least they're not super tacky, or anything...



Who would put these things in their face? Er, I mean grill.

idiots

Let me just say that anyone who buys one of those new color iPods is a fucking idiot.

Let's take the iPod, shrink it by half an inch, offer it with 1/5 as much memory, and charge essentially the same amount for it.

Why? Because Apple customers are stupid suckers. They'll buy it because it has pretty colors and negligible value. Their parents will buy it for their rich, spoiled kids. Techie snobs with no money sense will buy it for themselves just to have a new Apple toy. They might as well make a neon blue plastic cast of Steve Jobs's dick in your ass, and sell it to you for $500.

bwaaahaha

Oh hell yes.

POWER RANGERS PORN BABY

It's live action. It has cheesy J-pop. It's low budget, costumed, Power Rangers pornography.

Go watch it now.

Images of Mars and All Available Satellites

Oh man.

A Mars blog. That's so goddamn cool.

Images of Mars and All Available Satellites

They're actually blogging shots from the Mars lander, and you can check them out as they're posted.

Check it out, an open source AIM sniffer. You can run it in a college dorm, and read the conversations of everyone in your building. Man, would that have been a fun toy a few years ago.

AIM Sniff

Also, this this is pretty fucking dope:

Smartbar XP

You can add a smart sidebar to Windows XP, with news feeds, Ebay, virtual desktops, news and stocks, weather conditions, themes and translucency... it's really cool, and totally customizable.

AP Kills Limbaugh Painkillers Story

This is really weird.

AP Kills Limbaugh Painkillers Story (washingtonpost.com)

the allure of crime

This is interesting. They're auctioning items that were taken from criminals, and the owners were unable to be found:

Stealitback.com

This might seem mundane to you, but look at the prices.

For example, a Sony Clie PEG-S320 is about to close on this site... for $145. You can get a used one online at Amazon, or almost any other online store for $74, and you can almost bet that it'll be in better condition.

So why is this? Are people really insanely overbidding for shit items on that site just because they were stolen? Is the demand that high for goods that you can show your friends and say, "Hey, I got this from a police auction"? I really don't get it. I took one look at the prices on this site, and laughed.

Often on Ebay, I see prices well above retail for new items. But it's usually only a few dollars, because people are idiots and they get caught up in bidding fever. But I've never seen items so overpriced on Ebay that they were twice market value on old, outdated electronics. Very odd.

liquor laws are stupid

Here I am, sitting at home, reading about Perl, and all I'd like is a nice bottle of wine, since I've started liking wine more lately.

However, California says that I can't buy alcohol between 2 and 6am. I can drink it all I want, sure. But I can't buy it. I could stay up till 6 and get it. I could have gone at 1am and bought six gallons of vodka. But no, you can't get booze NOW, that might not be SAFE.

Nevermind that all the alcoholics I've known start drinking in the afternoon (or morning), and are fully capable of getting in a car and killing someone then. No, at night it'd be more dangerous.

In fact, a serious alcoholic probably plans ahead, because they need the booze. Me, I'd just like a fucking glass of wine, and the state won't let me. Sometimes it's really annoying to be an insomniac.

and people say that Fox News is biased

How could anyone think that Fox News is biased? I mean, having a news piece on how Pat Robertson is reporting that God has told him that Bush is going to win 2004 in a landslide... that's intelligent, objective journalism right there.

Think I'm kidding? Check it out:

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,107258,00.html

Want your own AT-ST? This thing is the shit. And hey, they only want 19 grand for it:



It's for sale on Ebay.

Also, this flash movie won my "coolest flash of the week" award. It's really slick. A bunch of minute Japanese looking people playing drums with their heads.

I beat Call of Duty today. Jesus, was that a well designed WWII game. Brilliant enemy and ally AI, a total chaotic feel much like the beginning of Saving Private Ryan... even down to when you play a Russian soldier, your officers force you to fight at gunpoint, and shoot anyone who runs away. You start as Americans, and play through British and Russian campaigns, culminating with the siege of Berlin, which was stunning.

I highly recommend it.

I Robot Now

This is interesting. I saw the ad when I went to see Return of the King, and I'm just now getting around to checking out the site.

IRobotNow.com

It's pretty slick. The whole thing reads as an ad for a new Asimov style robot for your home. They have background on all the features, a promo movie, and no mention at all that it's an advertisement for a movie.

I checked IMDB and found this:

I, Robot

Which looks like it's a sci-fi movie based on the book by Asimov, with the lead character being played by Will Smith, so that's disappointing.

But anyway, the site is cool.

arrr!

Sweet.

Pirates of the Caribbean 2 (2005)

Mobog

An automated, public mobile blog. Take pictures from your cell phone, and send them directly to a widely read public blog. Then people immediately begin making insulting comments about them. :)

Still though, it's a damn cool idea. Check it out.

Mobog - Send pictures directly from your camera phone