This is insane. I wish I could stream footage of the view from my mom's house so you people could see what it's like, because words just can't describe it.

The mountains are burning. From my mom's patio, I can smell burning wood, and I have a nearly 180 degree view of an inferno. Her house isn't at any risk right now, but it sure feels like it is. The fire is maybe a few miles away. You can use binoculars and resolve trees exploding into flame on the mountainside. It's been burning like this for weeks, and will probably continue for another week or so. The flame covers the mountainside, and these aren't small mountains, they're huge. It's not just one mountain on fire, it's the ENTIRE RANGE.

It's amazing how active it is. You can stand and watch the fire change and evolve, wax and wane in brightness and intensity. It almost looks like an "earth at night" satellite shot, where the mountain is a continent, and the fireline is a coastline of city lights. Either that or a shot from Lord of the Rings, and I'm staring straight at Mount Doom.

I took some panoramic shots with my camera, so I can post it when I get back, but from what I can see on the little LCD screen, it's really not capturing the full fury of the fires. I think I'm going to go back outside now and stare at it for a while longer, it's hypnotic and surreal. Every time I look away and look back, I kind of catch my breath, in a "fight or flight" syndrome, where the animal in me screams DANGER, FLEE! YOU'RE SURROUNDED BY FIRE!

It's just not possible.

Can someone explain to me how a 130 pound, short Japanese man can eat FIFTY hot dogs in 12 minutes? Seriously. How? You thought Cool Hand Luke was impressive, this guy could BEAT HIS ASS.

I'd really like to go see this thing happen, but it's not likely that I'll be anywhere near New York for the 4th of July any time soon.

It's just unreal. His competitor is a 400 lb man, so he's going to chump someone THREE TIMES as big as him.

http://www.cnn.com/2003/US/Northeast/06/28/offbeat.hot.dog/index.html

Old people fighting

This is a weird story, you don't hear of shootings between senior citizens very often:

http://www.cnn.com/2003/US/West/06/29/sf.shooting/index.html

I wonder if it was over a woman. Call me sick, but old people fighting over women is funny to me.

National No Call List starting soon

Starting tomorrow, we'll be able to sign up for the national no call list, which is a brilliant idea. Here's a fact sheet:

http://www.ftc.gov/bcp/conline/edcams/donotcall/media/2003/06/factsheet.pdf

It bothers me that some people are exempt, like politicians and charities, which is stupid. It's not like you want politicians and charities calling you if you're on a No Call list, but oh well. I also don't like "telephone surveyors" being exempt, because that's too flexible. What if they're "surveying" you about your happiness with your current phone company?

There are some other neat things too. Businesses HAVE to list their numbers in their caller ID. They can't do any more of those "hang up" calls... it's illegal! It's refreshing to see something like this being done, and done right. There had to be some pretty strong lobbying against it.

I love all things random

Getting this postcard in the mail today made my day.

Strom Thurmond is dead

Here are some things that I didn't know about the now dead Strom Thurmond:

http://www.cnn.com/2003/ALLPOLITICS/06/26/thurmond.obit/index.html

Strom Thurmond started out as a racist Democrat, something that you don't really think of much these days, but apparently it was a lot more common back then.

He held the record for the longest filibuster in history, with 24 hours and 18 minutes, against a civil rights bill.

Known as a lady's man his whole life, in his farewell address to his fellow congressmen, he said "I love all of you -- and especially your wives."

Now that's just funny.

The sad end of Chemical Ali

Look at this poor, pathetic old bastard.

http://www.cnn.com/2003/WORLD/meast/06/26/sprj.irq.tv.comical.ali/index.html

He was so much more fun before. If you notice near the end of the article, he makes a small crazy statement, but nothing like his old nonsense.

UNDERWEAR TACKLE

In an incredibly bold move, they're airing a show where supermodels play football in their underwear as pay-per-view during the Superbowl halftime. We're talking about competing with the most expensive advertising time on the entire planet.

And you know, I think it might work. I'm not even the target demographic, and I'm extremely tempted to get some buddies over and pay for it, just because it's so insanely novel and brilliant. It's quite possibly the most male driven entertainment show that I've ever seen. I assume most women will LOATHE this.

http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story2&u=/030625/170/4i3iz.html&e=15&ncid=1756

Video game reality

And I thought Jet Set Radio Future was just a video game.

Apparently not.

http://www.arsonal.com/~japan/glenn's%20pictures/week3/small/Train%20Station%20in%20Ueno.jpg

The science behind science fiction

This is a really interesting set of articles. Most of it I already know, but it's presented in an approachable format, and it's especially nice for those of you who sometimes feel overwhelmed by hard science fiction.

http://www.netspace.net.au/~gregegan/FOUNDATIONS/index.html

"Foundations is a series of articles, first published in the magazine Eidolon, on some of the theories of twentieth-century physics that have most influenced modern science fiction. However, these are not essays on the history or philosophy of science; their aim is to show how the central idea of each theory leads to detailed, quantitative predictions of real physical effects. For example, the article on special relativity derives formulas for time dilation, Doppler shift, and aberration."

Moon landing

IT'S ALL A LIE, FOLKS!

http://www.moonmovie.com/15things.html

D.A.R.Y.L

Okay, this is freaking insane. I'm so impressed.

It's a really slow loading movie, so you'll have to be patient, but it's worth it.

This kid is playing a DDR-style game, but with his hands on an array of buttons, and it's some of the fastest hand-eye coordination that I've ever seen.

http://s89.tku.edu.tw/~489192053/kusos.com.12.22.mpeg

Friendster again

No, I didn't go to the Friendster party in Sunnyvale last week. Why would I do something like that?

What could I possibly miss? GRRRRRR.

I could have jumped this toolbox and bitten off his face.

Dammit. Must remember never to pass up free parties involving chicks, booze, and the opportunity to harass stupid hipster jackasses.

Friendster.com

I think the tens if not hundreds of thousands of people signing up for Friendster has seriously damaged that poor thing.

I added several friends today, and they haven't shown up on my chart, and I got a couple friend requests, and when I try to approve them, I get an error. The site wasn't ready for this much traffic and it's crapping all over itself.

My network of friends is almost 170,000 people at this point.

The spirits of my apartment

My house has some new occupants:

http://www.coziahr.com/pics/spirits/

I think they rule. They're really fun to make, and they look cool. I'm going to make more of them, some with hooked hands and what not to hang from lights and cables, maybe hide them inside my fridge, and stick them all over my place.

They're inspired by the little guys from Princess Mononoke, of course, if you've seen that.

Album recommendation

For any of you looking for new music, I'd have to say that one of the best album that I've picked up in months, even including the new Radiohead, is "In Our Gun" by Gomez. (Thanks to Adrienne for recommending it)

It's seriously one of the best albums I've ever heard. Every song has a different style, with the same soul running through the whole album. Describing it is difficult, and all I'm going to do is fuck it up, but it's kind of brit rock plus electronica plus dub plus indie rock... or something.

It's really impressive. I keep meaning to pick up some of their other albums, I really hope they're as good as this one.

You're welcome

Insomnia in Nashville

This is why Dave Attell is the fucking man. I love this show. So far in the episode that I've watched:

Hanging out in a pool hall with a bunch of older guys, "Wow, I'm not used to playing on these tables, I'm used to waking up on them... with a bunch of college guys shooting their jizz on me."

Then he went to an adult bookstore, and forced the guy working there to fight him with a blowup doll. After that he tried out the job of "jizzmopper" by mopping the peep rooms. He also answered the phones for a while, and alternatively called people perverts and hung up on them, or sent them to Walmart for blow up sheep.

Next he went and hung out with some really sad LARPers, and asked them if being a vampire required you to have a fake accent.

The best part is when he's talking to boring people, so he just starts fucking around. He was talking to these two girls in a car who were being lame, so he just pulls out his pot belly and starts rubbing it until they drive away.

Now he's going around at 4am with a milk delivery guy, playing Mission Impossible and diving and rolling across people's lawns, leaving milk at their door. Dammit. I want to hang out with Dave.

Arizona burning

Well, this is nice. My mom is off visiting family in Illinois, and I wake up this morning and check CNN and see this:

http://www.cnn.com/2003/US/Southwest/06/21/arizona.wildfire/index.html

Apparently a huge wildfire is blowing directly at her house, which is right outside Oracle. What's especially nice is that it's going to take "at least two weeks" to contain, and I'm going there to visit her in a week. Hopefully there will still be a house there when I arrive. I might get to spend my vacation being a volunteer firefighter, trying to defend my mom's house against a raging wildfire. Fun!

Donut fuXXor with a man's pr0n

Let this be a lesson to you, ladies.

"A city firefighter has been accused of pointing a gun at his wife when she tried to stop him from watching Internet pornography."

http://www.cnn.com/2003/TECH/internet/06/20/porn.threat.ap/index.html

The worst part here is the fact that this scumbag was looking at porn with his kids in the room, sleeping. Jackass.

Potter alert

For those of you who haven't been paying attention, I warn you to stay the hell away from bookstores tonight.

Although it might be fun for kids, every bookstore is going to be totally crammed with screaming children, jugglers and magicians, frustrated parents, and pure and utter pain. Harry Potter comes out at midnight, and the bookstores will be a zoo all day. Be afraid.

Two things heard on the radio

I've not verified either of these claims yet, but I'd like to.

1) Apparently senior citizens are not allowed to buy private insurance that just covers prescription drugs. It's actually ILLEGAL. If this is true, it's fucking terrifying because it sounds like a scam to FORCE seniors to be grateful for government paid prescription drug insurance, and to buy votes. HATE. POLITICIANS. SO. MUCH.

2) 80% of all millionaires in this country were born in an income bracket below $100k a year. If this is true, that's really cool, because it disproves all the whiners that claim that most of the rich were born into money, and didn't earn it.

Cool case

Ungh, I must have this, it's so freaking cool.

http://www.thinkgeek.com/pcmods/cases/6169/zoom/

I'm so happy that thought and creativity is being put into cases these days, I look forward to the time that people simply don't buy beige towers, because there's so much shit out there to choose from.

The validity of news

This is FRONT PAGE news on CNN?

http://www.cnn.com/2003/WORLD/europe/06/15/william.driving.ap/index.html

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

The only way that Prince William should make front page US news is if he rapes and kills his nanny, and then dances about the estate draped only in her steaming entrails.

I mean, they put this right up there with a story about Iranian students being kidnapped and killed on the streets for daring to ask for the right to criticize their own leaders. These two stories aren't in the same category of importance.

Funeral at Waffle House

This might seriously be one of the most depressing things ever.

"Clark's jacket was slung over his favorite chair, and black coffee, milk and cigarettes sat side by side on the counter, the way he always placed them.

The 67-year-old bachelor's ashes were placed on the hood of a Chevrolet parked in his favorite parking space."

You die, alone, at 67, and they hold your funeral at a WAFFLE HOUSE, with your ashes in the parking lot, on the hood of a car.

I'd rather be ground up, and have someone sneak me into a tofu factory, so a bunch of hippies end up eating RAW HUMAN.

http://www.cnn.com/2003/US/South/06/13/offbeat.waffle.house.funeral.ap/index.html

Naked Pictures of my Ex-Girlfriends

What a funny book. I want to check it out.

Naked Pictures of my Ex-Girlfriends

Good lord

You know, people told me that Requiem for a Dream was good. What they neglected to mention was that it was going to make me want to put the barrel of a gun in my mouth.

God. I feel awful. It's emotionally draining to watch that damn thing, and now I feel depressed. I don't even have anything to say about it. It was a good movie, but... jesus.

Food scientists

Alright, I was just at Safeway, and I was looking for breakfast cereal. I saw Peanut Butter Cap'n Crunch, and went "mmmmmmmm", and then noticed that next to it was a Safeway ripoff for less than half the price. I was curious, so I got it and I just finished a bowl. It's not as good. It tastes similiar, but not quite right, kind of like how in any given set of twin girls, they look the same, but one is just HOTTER somehow.

Now, I've seen the stats in magazines about this kind of stuff. I know that the profit margin on cereal is astronomical. The cereal costs less than the freaking box. The money goes for marketing, and you pay more for name recognition... but this leads me to the question. Why the hell can't Safeway rip off Cap'n Crunch better? It's peanut butter flavored balls of puff. This isn't rocket science.

So the answer must be the food scientists. Safeway must not be able to afford the A-Team of scientists from the best schools to engineer their cereals. They must pick up the kids from party schools and community colleges. That is the only answer. You apparently have to be a genius to correctly balance the chemicals and preservatives that creates the delicious flavor of my favorite breakfast cereals.

Viruses

I think it's funny that here at Sun, the use of Windows is highly discouraged, and the use of Outlook is downright forbidden, but whenever there's another variant of the viruses that email everyone on your address list, Sun aliases tend to get a batch of really strange old emails sent to "unknown recipients" with suspicious attachments.

I'm thinking that we should make emailing a virus to the internal Sun SWAN a firable offense, so these jackasses would stop using Windows at work, or get fired, either solution is just fine by me.

Of course, then we'd probably lose about half our management.

Overuse of words

Does anyone else notice that the word conspiracy is being overused and incorrectly used a lot these days?

The right says that there's a "massive left wing conspiracy to tax the bejesus out of the rich". The left says that there was a "massive right wing conspiracy to discredit President Clinton". Those are just two examples of many.

The point is, it's not a conspiracy if that's the STATED OR OBVIOUS GOAL of a group. In the first instance, the left admits that is exactly what they want to do. In the second, this has been the policy of the non-Presidential party since politics began. These aren't conspiracies, folks. It's just a word with negative connotations that you can throw around to make it sound like people are meeting in back rooms and plotting evil deeds. It's a word that you use when you disagree with a powerful group of people, if you're an idiot.

You've got to be kidding me

When you charge a 17 year old kid with a felony for breaking into his school's pathetic security and erasing a few files, the word felony has seriously lost all legitimate meaning.

http://www.cnn.com/2003/TECH/internet/06/10/school.hacked/index.html

What a load of crap.

And miles to go before I sleep...

You know, the new Radiohead video is cool and all, but I expect a little more originality from one of the greatest bands ever.

It looks like they plugged Thom Yorke into Bjork's "Human Behavior" video.

Girls will hump anything

Thanks to adam for this link:

http://www.gamegirladvance.com/archives/2002/10/26/sex_in_games_rezvibrator.html

Some girl tells about her experiences with a vibrating attachment for the PS2, complete with pictures illustrating it.

Stupidity

I just heard, on a call-in show where someone was proposing a fair, flat sales tax, an angry liberal caller who stated, "You only object to the progressive income tax because you're not poor."

Well, gee, how'd she figure that one out? Objecting to a system that's unfairly fucking you?

That's like telling a black person, "You only object to black slavery because you're black." Idiot.

HULK HANDS

Damn. Not only do I really want these Hulk Hands, but this is a very funny, well written screed.

http://www.x-entertainment.com/articles/0748/

The fall of Metallica

Metallica used to be really good. If you disagree with this statement, you might as well skip the rest of this entry, because you'll just be bored.

Earlier Metallica dealt with drug addiction, depression, insanity... it was complex, and it was well crafted. There were beautiful guitar solos, and great lyrics, and they were the epitome of Rock (must be said in a deep voice with your fist in the air). We're talking about songs like Sanitarium, One, Master of Puppets... brilliant stuff.

Then they got a little bit softer, but the SKILL was still there. They released the Black album, and a good number of songs after that, usually singles. They still had sadness, and well crafted, complex music. Wherever I May Roam is a good example.

Now, I listened to a couple cuts off their new album on the radio this morning, and I was so incredibly disappointed. They decided to go back to "hard" rock, but they forgot to make the songs GOOD. They sound just like any other hard rock band, a bunch of yelling, no talented guitar solos. They substituted anger and screaming for the well thought out despair and frustration and rage that they had before.

It's really too bad. I guess between them all getting insanely rich, getting old, having kids, and losing their various alcohol and drug addictions, they lost their edge. It sucks that you have to have a crappy life to make good metal.

I love Sony

Sony released plans for the PSX, otherwise known as the Playstation 2.5. It's pretty badass. One amazing feature is that it's basically going to be a Tivo with a DVD recorder built right into the damn thing. I wonder how much trouble that's going to cause here in the US, where our entertainment industry fights that kind of thing pretty hard. Right now, I could theoretically do the same thing, but it would be a huge pain in my ass, I'd probably have to remove my Tivo's hard drive and put it in my main PC to get the movies and/or TV shows off of it. Not anymore!

I want one.

http://money.cnn.com/2003/05/28/commentary/game_over/column_gaming/index.htm

People worry about the stupidest things

Apparently teachers and parents are worried about computers "killing" cursive handwriting.

I myself haven't written anything in cursive since I was forced to, back in grade school. What a stupid thing to worry about. People will always still write, there are always things that need to be jotted down, it's not like kids aren't going to be taught to write with their own hands anymore. And even if they weren't, who cares? It's like worrying about people forgetting how to ride horses after cars are invented. There will always be people who write in cursive as a quaint hobby, but typing is faster, and more efficient in many ways. It's astonishing how humans fear change so much that any change is considered bad.

http://www.cnn.com/2003/EDUCATION/06/08/cursive.keyboard.ap/index.html

murder by grenade

Now this is an odd story. The wife of a marine and her lover plan to kill her husband. They try to get him to drive off a cliff drunk twice, fail, and then when the two marines got stationed in Kuwait together, they tried again. The one marine invited the second one to meet him at a guard station, told him to wait inside, and then TOSSED A GRENADE into it.

Christ that's messed up. Just get a divorce.

http://www.cnn.com/2003/US/Southwest/06/05/marine.wife.charged.reut/index.html

And now for something that's not so cool

You have GOT to be kidding me.

http://www.airguitarnation.com/flash.html

Maybe they should add in air drums, or painting on an air canvas.

Trek Apartment

Okay, I think I'm officially a tool for thinking that this is pretty sweet. If I were rich beyond belief, I'd definitely buy this place just so I could hang out in it sometimes.

What'd be especially funny would be bringing girls back to it, and watching their eyes get really wide before they bolted for the door.

It looks REALLY well done, though.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2325286755&ssPageName=A

Investing stuff

For those of you who are interested in the investing section of my site, I've updated the chart showing how the investments I've suggested have been doing. It's pretty awesome.

Unfortunately, Excel wants to save the chart as HUGE when I export as HTML, and if I shrink it, the GIF looks like garbage, so I've put it there full size. I'm too lazy to figure out how to make Excel save the damn thing smaller, but if any of you know how, feel free to email me and let me know. I apologize for the size of the chart, it does make it hard to read.

http://www.coziahr.com/investing

Quick summary, all four of the index funds that I recommended are way, WAY up, even the short term index fund that was down 10% a while ago.

War scare? Toy opportunity!

And the winner of the award of the coolest thing I've seen all week, thanks to Kate, is the Russian "doll within a doll" figuring commemorating the Cuban Missle Crisis. This has to be seen to be believed.

http://amos.catalogcity.com/cc.class/cc?main=catalog&pcd=6044791&trk=featured&ccsyn=35

There is some freaking cool stuff on this site. Ever wanted a KGB badge? How about a "tank buster" missle? An authentic communist party registration book? Look no further.

You can never get enough teenage "lesbians"

Since Tatu was so popular, Japan is now spinning off their own ripoff teenage lesbian bands. It's pretty funny.

Ripoff one: http://www.parfit.co.jp/suitei/index.htm

Ripoff two: http://www.universal-music.co.jp/juemilia/index.html

The second one is especially funny. Not only is that one on the left really hot, but they actually have a COVER of Tatu's "All the things she said" song on the site, sung with a strong Japanese accent.